even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
