I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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