I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
