i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize