Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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