Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
