so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
