What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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