Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize