God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
