I hate all girls vehemently.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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