I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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