ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
