Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
