DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
