what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
