that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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