I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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