we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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