We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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