I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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