One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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