Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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