Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
