i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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