Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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