You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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