You work out of a Hotel?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
