I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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