babies were throwing up all over the place
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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