every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
