you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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