she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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