dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
