I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
