I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
