Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
