Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
