I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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