Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
