i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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