Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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