so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
