You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
