At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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