Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
