i was born a porn star she said
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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