He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
