is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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