Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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