Say something about gay babies.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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