and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize