shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just gift wrapped bread.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
