let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
