She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
